Looking back over this past year, what would I change? What would I spend more time on? What would I want to live again and again, forever? What would I do best forgetting? How can I learn from 2015 to make 2016 an even better year for my work? My stomach cramps a bit as I close my eyes on the curvy road of reflection. Motion sickness sets in as I sway in reviewing the 3000 odd images from 2015.
It was a year of determination and reward. Most excitingly, I forayed into the medium of film, with reckless abandon, "Who cares if I fail at this, I am having too much fun!" Then, I found my images on the pages of the film issue of Lemonade & Lenses. I want to give myself that same permission in 2016, to experiment and mess up like it's my job - like I don't care what anyone thinks!
At the same time, I am committing to a 365 where I will take at least one film picture each day. I've signed up for two demanding in-person workshops around film and the darkroom. I am also tightening up my daily discipline of scheduling my time, to be in better balance. I have begun to set some goals; but more importantly, I am revving up in eager anticipation for the mystery of what lies ahead for my work this year.
“The healthiest way to dream is to wait expectantly for illumination the end of the dark tunnel — leaving room to discover that our dark and winding path may bring us to a place even better than we could have ever imagined. The gift of submitting to mystery, is finding the freedom to live out the answers to the big questions, instead of trying to dictate how we think these puzzles should be solved." (Darling, Issue 13, Page 22.)
Am I spending too much time worrying about the direction? Should that energy and endless worry be spent that energy on the steps to move forward? Yes, I think so, yes, yes, yes!!!
I'm counting on the mantra of continued hard work and persistence translating into dreams unforeseen. Just this morning, I began experimenting with an entirely new direction, edgy and a bit unexpected. I can't wait to see how 2016 unfolds.
